The Edge of Reason

Birthday Bashes: Alyssa turns 19 and Fiskars is 360 years old!

Every parent says it: "Where does the time go?" I've been asking myself this question since the day Alyssa turned thirteen - that golden age of transition. Six years later, a few harrowing moment, a lot of wonderful memories, and at least a million "I love yous,"  she turned nineteen - that wonderful age of almost there... almost an adult... almost done with the business of growing up. And still I ask, "Where did the time go?" Because as I see it, she's so close to being there - the adult she so wants to be.

As we celebrated her nineteenth birthday yesterday, I was on an emotional roller-coaster - smiling one moment, and crying the next. The smile was my joy - the joy of who she was and who she has become. The tears were because I was remembering the day she was born, and although it was almost two decades ago, it remains one of my favorite lifetime moments. I kept thinking about how tiny she was that long ago day. And I remembered feeling so helpless as the doctor placed her in my arms; I remembered the overwhelming feeling of love that encompassed my entire being; and I remembered thinking she is my reason for life. And as I recalled all those emotions, I realized that I still feel helpless as a mother, and that overwhelming feeling of love that encompassed my soul - it has only grown stronger. So I guess the tears were joyful, in spite of my constant desire for a do-over because, as I've said many times before, I'm still not ready to say good-bye to my baby girl.

We didn't have a birthday party for Alyssa this year (she said she was too old for that), but we did honor her day by making a special birthday dinner, eating a beautiful cake, and taking the annual birthday photos.

As Alyssa was reviewing the options for her special dinner menu, John, Jeff and I were all holding our breath with anticipation because she is now a vegetarian (Jeff calls her Edgy the Veggie), and the rest of us are still meat eaters. Some of the things she comes up with are not our idea of "celebratory" meals! This year, she decided on Ratatouille. None of us have ever eaten Ratatouille, but it sure is fun to say! And once Jeff put it together (based upon a recipe she provided), we all decided that it looks really pretty on the grill. In the end, it was a delightful celebration dinner. Thankfully, Jeff added some chicken for John and me because we tend to like our protein in the form of meat. We also like cake - thankfully, we all agree on that since no animals were killed in the process <--- yes, we hear this speech a lot, and she is doing a pretty good job of swaying each of us to begin thinking her way, but I doubt any of us will ever have the passion for the subject that she has come to find. Go Alyssa... passion is good!

Here are the pictures from the celebration meal and the annual photo shoot - it was a good day all the way around!

And now... let's talk about Fiskars! The company is 360 years old this year. Amazing! Lucky me, as one of the Nifty Fifty Fiskateers I had the opportunity to work with one of the Lead Fiskateers, Wendy Jo Avey, at the GASC Crop Party last weekend where we celebrated everything Fiskars. It was a wave of orange all the way around and I had the time of my life meeting new friends and sharing the Fiskars love. It doesn't get much better than that when it comes to working an event (I don't even think of it as work when it is that much fun).

We began the evening by giving away Fiskars products to everyone who attended the crop. Almost every single person had at least one Fiskars tool in their crop bag, and it was clear to see that crafters the world over love Fiskars products:


After the general give-away, Wendy Jo held drawings and gave away products to the Fiskateers who were in attendance. We managed to get a nice group photo after everyone ogled their new goodies:


And to complete the GASC Fiskars Birthday Bash, we ate cake, because... really... no birthday party is complete without cake!


I like cake! Alyssa's cake, Fiskars cake, any kind of cake. Cake is good. It makes me happy and says happy birthday like nothing else. And so although I have no more cake to eat, I once again wish a happy birthday to my special daughter, and a very happy 360th year to Fiskars.

Cheers!

~ back in the saddle again ~

It feels like putting on a favorite pair of old shoes - comfortable, familiar, and oh-so right. That's where I'm at, because for the first time in a year, I will return to doing what I know best: working in the craft industry. Not writing, not designing (I've been doing that all along), but actually working with the owners, the vendors and the consumers - in person, up close, and for real at a convention. Bonus for me since I will be reunited with my friends from Luxe during the day, and I will get to put on my orange cowboy hat to work with my friends at Fiskars in the evening.

When I was first contacted to do the work, I felt like a poser... I mean... really... I've not done this for over a year, and during that time, I've completely stepped away from everything and anything industry related. I've become so consumed with raising the child I have left at home - health scares, home-bound schooling, grades, bad decisions, court appearances, and then making it all right - I forgot how to focus on me and I had forgotten how to do what I know best, because I am the first to admit that parenting teens is NOT what I do best... I do MY best, but I do not excel at the task. Because whether I admit or ignore it, crafting is what I know inside and out. It's in my blood. It defines who I am more so than anything else on earth. Crafting is my passion and my escape. And I'd forgotten that I need to do this as much as I need to eat and breathe. How could I have let that happen? Life. Life took over, and somewhere along the way I'd lost myself. Funny thing: I didn't even know I'd gone missing!

For the past month, I've stressed over the jobs: will I fit in? Will I remember how to work a booth? Will I do right by the companies I'm working with? Will I make a fool of myself? Will people remember me? But then something happened on the way to this weekend... it all came back to me and I went from feeling inadequate to feeling excited and exhilarated. And now that the convention is two short days away, I can honestly say that I am so excited to be back in the saddle again. I can't wait to meet with Luxe and work with the girls. And I am looking forward to seeing fellow Fiskateers. A convention - what better way than a convention to jump back on the horse?

As I reminisce about what I used to do and what I will be doing again, I am reminded that old friends and new friends are what I miss the most about the work. People. I miss the people who share my love of crafting. These are people who understand the passion, and because these people share that passion... we all have the same burning desire to make pretty things as we create works of heart.

And so for those in the northern Virginia area who will be attending the Great American Scrapbook Convention at the Chantilly Expo Center... stop by, say hello! I'll be at the Luxe booth during the day and with the Fiskateers during the crop.

And for those whom I've worked with in the past and whom I hope to work with again, I've missed you, dear friends. I got lost for a while, but I'm finding my way back. I'm back in the saddle again - and I hope to see ya'll soon!

Fiskars Crafts Summer School Give-Away Winners...

Fiskars Crafts Summer School classes are such a great way to learn something new during the lazy days of summer. I am finding that every class is unique and inspirating. To all those who took on the challenge and tried their hand with the sewing machine applique class - I hope you had fun!

In relation to the applique class offered at Summer School, today is the day that the winners of the give away are announced. And so without further ado, I will do just that. Thank you to everyone who took the time to sign up for the drawing.

To keep things official and organized, I wrote down all the names on little cards. I then placed the cards inside a basket and shuffled them all around.


After placing the names in the basket, I drew out one name for the first project in the class. Congratulations to Kasey for winning the apron!


The next drawing was for the second project featured in the class. Congratulations to Colleen for winning the summer tote!


The final drawing was for the Fourth of July kitchen set which includes two kitchen towels and four cloth napkins. Congratulations to Janeal for winning the holiday collection.

These three lucky winners will be notified via email and the project packages will be sent out in the next few days.

Thank you, again, for joining in on the fun - happy summer crafting!

 

The Hummingbirds

Last week we saw all kinds of stormy weather in Virginia, which did nothing to energize my soul, but did everything for the flowers on my deck. After the rains ended, one of my hibiscus plants went crazy with blooms (the other hibiscus seems to have a dormant state of mind - it is a stubborn plant and I've not seen a bloom on it since the first week). And so when the sun finally came out, I decided to bribe the hummingbirds: I moved the hibiscus plants directly under the feeder, hoping to lure the birds to my deck. Prior to and during the rain the feeder had not seen any action - so Jeff suggested that I replace the nasty water, which was a great idea considering that upon close inspection, the water had nasty crud floating in it. Note to self: sugar water must be changed weekly.

I realize that in the grand scheme of life, hibiscus plants and hummingbirds are pretty low on the list of exciting things. But for me, these are always a highlight of my summer - so on my list, they rate right up there. On Sunday, I decided to go on a bird watch. I took my book, my cushy seat cover, and two cameras out on the deck and I waited. And waited. And waited. I was almost ready to give up when all of a sudden... HUMMERS! We had more birds come to visit than I could keep track of. It was thrilling, and so worth the wait.

The following pictures were taken using my Pentax DSLR and my 70-300mm zoom lens (I had to get out the big stuff for this project!). I set the shutter on the auto click setting (I have no idea what that setting is called... it's the one where you push it down and it clicks over and over again), and then I focused the frame using the portrait setting to blur out the background. From there, I just waited for the birds to show up while I had the camera stuck to my eyeball (and yes, I am well aware of the fact that I am a dork to spend an entire afternoon looking through a camera lens waiting for a hummingbird sighting).

These are my three favorite photos:

 

Since Sunday, my deck has seen a ton of hummers. I can now sit at my kitchen table and watch them right up until dark. There is a breed of this bird that is turquoise in color. One summer, that breed was a constant companion. So far this summer, I've only seen one. So now my new goal is to get a picture of the turquoise hummingbird. I have no idea whether I will have the patience to wait and watch with a camera all summer long, but I might... it will depend on the weather (must be good) and my energy level (must be low) - two things that have to be in sync for the kind of patience that would be required for such a shot. The ideal photo would be of the turquoise hummingbird inside a peach hibiscus bloom - but I realize that is setting my goals a little high; I am not a good photographer, nor do I have the kind of patience that may be required to capture that shot. However, if some odd stroke of luck occurs, I will be sure to post the picture. Heck, if I were to get a picture of that, I would probably have it enlarged and framed just so that I could enjoy the beauty for the rest of my days.

To be honest, I really don't like birds at all. But these hummingbirds literally take my breath away. They truly enhance my summer days with their beauty and fragility. And in the grand scheme of my life - pretty things and beautiful flowers are very high on the list of things that make me smile.

a good change is always the best kind of change there is

My teenagers have informed me that they no longer want me to write about them on my blog. This has been a dilemma for me, in that without writing about them, I have a severe shortage of topics. I've tried to honor their requests as best as I can, but I've found it difficult not to incorporate the mothering part of myself into this on-going documentation of my life. Finally, I told them that I would compromise.... we'll see how I do. *sigh* I suppose this is yet another stepping stone in parenting my almost adult children.

That said, I feel compelled to post an update on my wayward son, who has made such an effort to straighten out his life. I think that it is only fair to him that I share the good after so openly sharing the ugly details of his mistakes.

In the past few months, John has made every effort to improve his failing grades - and he's managed to bring them all up to high C's and B's', which hasn't been easy considering he had let them slide for so long, in addition to having the disadvantage of being home-bound for the first half of the school year, which caused a huge brouhaha in the grading system for his teachers once he returned to school. What looked to be a year of failure has turned into a year of success, and for that I am both proud and grateful. The credit goes to John because he took it upon himself to find the inner strength and determination to turn things around.

Regarding the subject of the misdemeanor drug charge and court appearance - John appeared in court on June 1. The charge was suspended and he was given 24 hours of community service. Once he completes the community service, the charge will be dropped. Since that date, John has been staying after school and he has performed community service daily. By the end of this week, his community service hours will be fulfilled. Again, the credit goes to John for taking the bull by the horns and working with the school to arrange service hours. His completion date was set for August 1st, but by jumping in and trying to put it behind him, he will be done by June 17. I never said a word about this... telling him only that he had to figure it out and get it done. His aggressive plan of attack is paying off and he not only will get it done, but he will have done so with dignity and a positive attitude.

And finally, the puzzle picture above - John has begun to spend a lot more time at home doing things that are a whole lot healthier than drugs. One day last week, he started digging through my closets and rummaging around in odd places. When I finally asked him what the heck he was doing in "my stuff," he told me that he was looking for puzzles. Since then, he and Taylor have become puzzle maniacs. I will admit that I have some pretty cool puzzles because I usually buy them when I travel around the country, so they are mostly historical in nature and replications of true artistry. Currently, John and Taylor are working on the Oregon Trail puzzle. Next in line is the Lewis and Clark puzzle (there you go... my Pacific Northwest roots are showing!). This afternoon, Alyssa came upstairs and said, "Mom, I don't think you need to keep checking on Taylor and John every minute because all they ever do is puzzles." I had to laugh, and then I let out a HUGE sigh of relief - puzzles are such a better sight than kissing and cuddling - because, yes, that's what parents of teenagers often see, and it is very disconcerting. However, I've not seen kissing and cuddling since the puzzles came out. My sense of relief is undeniable.

Sometimes, good kids make bad choices - I've seen it happen time and time again, and it always breaks my heart. But when it happened with my own child, I didn't think I could bear the burden. The stress, the anguish, and the worry were so beyond my realm of reality that I didn't know how to begin to make this right. I soon discovered that all I knew how to do was go with my gut instinct, and my gut told me that the best approach should be first and foremost love. Admittedly, I had anger, but the love I have for this child overrode any anger I felt, and so that is where I began, and that is how I was able to find strength.

In hindsight, I can honestly say that I was not the only one to draw strength from my love - I think that John sensed my unconditional love in a way that allowed him to find his own inner strength. And in this situation, his inner strength was the only thing that would correct the mistake and change his ways. Mommy gut. That's what I call it. There is something to be said about "just knowing" even though it doesn't make sense and may not seem the right avenue to take at the time. I'm so glad that I listened to my Mommy gut, because, once again, it has served me well.

My sincere hope is that the changes I see in John are part of a growth process that continues through the years. Currently, he is worried that he will not regain the respect and trust from those adults whom he so greatly admires - teachers, neighbors, and parents of his friends. My only advice to him is to continue doing what he is doing - that being working hard and respecting himself - because I truly believe that self respect goes a long way towards earning the respect of others. I also know that John is a good kid... he made a mistake, and now he's making it right. And at the end of the day, that is all any parent can ask for because a good change is always the best kind of change there is.

Fiskars Give-away, John's Prom, the Internet, and Stormy Weather <---- in no particular order and totally unrelated!

This weekend I discovered something new about myself: I am hopelessly addicted to the internet. The realization occurred while we were without internet connection for two days. I felt lost... helpless... out of touch... out of sorts... and most of all... out of patience. What makes me laugh is that two days later Verizon continues to call us with a recorded message saying that they are still working on the problem. Okay. Thanks. The "problem" was corrected on Monday. But we appreciate the interruption three times a day - NOT (talk about lack of communication within a company).

As soon as our internet was back up and running, I did a little happy dance <--- yes, I have one of those and, in fact, several of my friends have actually seen me do the happy dance. My kids, on the other hand, despise the dorky dance, and so I try to limit my antics to times when they are not within the viewing area. It was too bad that immediately following my happy dance, a big storm rolled in with a whole lot of thunder and a little bit of lightening. I quickly unplugged the computer, not wanting a power surge to mess up my recent rekindling of the love affair I have with internet connection. I fear my happy dance may now be referred to as a rain dance since that is what it brought on in full force.

Things seem to have calmed down now, which means all is once again well in my world and I can proceed as planned, albeit four days behind schedule.

So first things first: for the past few weeks I've been working on a project for Fiskars on-line Summer School program. This week, I am the guest designer on the site and the class is up and ready to go. And so for anyone who has ever wanted to try their hand at sewing machine applique on small scale projects, this class is for you: Applique with Fiskars Templates.

In addition to the class at Fiskars, I am also offering my own promotional give-away of the featured projects. The class includes instructions for applique on a denim apron, a medium sized tote, and a festive Fourth of July kitchen collection that includes decorative towels and cloth napkins - these three finished projects are the items I will be giving away via a drawing. To sign up for the drawing, just leave a comment on this post including your real name and true email address (I need to be able to contact the winners via correct information). On Wednesday of next week, June 17, I will draw three names and will announce the winners here on the blog. So that gives you a full week to try your hand at applique as well as to spread the word about Fiskars Summer School classes and this drawing. I hope you enjoy the projects as much as I enjoyed making them!

And finally, another year, another teenager, another prom. These proms just do me in. There is so much behind the scenes work that goes into getting a teenager ready for their prom. With Alyssa, it was much easier (but far more expensive) because she is a take charge kind of girl and did everything on her own. But with John, things are different. I swear - boys are so weird. They just don't care about dances as much as girls do. I had to do everything from picking out the tuxedo (he wasn't interested in looking at the book), to buying the tickets (he almost forgot), to ordering the corsage the night before (his girlfriend reminded me), to printing out directions to the prom (once they got to dinner, they realized they didn't know how to get to the prom). Seriously... it wore me out. But the truth is, I wouldn't give it up for the world and I am well aware that my days with this child are short. And so although it wears me out and does me in, I cherish every single moment that he still allows me to participate in his life.

Following are a few of the pictures taken before the Prom. I was only able to take a handful of pictures because, again, boys are weird and they just want to get on with the show. But the pictures I took are priceless to me, and in the end, that is what matters:

One more year... I only have one more year of being a "prom mom." My hope is that my children's recollections of high school and their proms are every bit as wonderful as mine are because the best things I have done in my life are named Alyssa and John, and Prom Night for John is one more treasured memory I now have to add to the corner of my heart that is reserved for everything wonderful and special.