The Edge of Reason

Memorial Day Memories and Traditions

When I was growing up, I was surrounded by extended family. I was as close to my aunts, uncles and cousins as I was to my own siblings. We did everything together because my mom had two sisters and they raised us as one, big, happy family. It was such a fun way to be raised, and it has given me hundreds upon hundreds of memories.

This old photo was one of the last pictures taken before my grandmother passed away - it shows all the gang at the beach. The cabin porch we were sitting on still stands. In fact, my mom now lives right across the street from this cabin, and the kids in the picture who were babies are now grown up and have families of their own. This weekend the baby in the picture, Luke, is staying in the cabin with his own children. His mom and dad are there too, staying in the cabin next door. It is a tradition for my entire family to gather at the beach on all holidays, and although I participated in the tradition when I lived in Washington state, I have not been to the beach on a Memorial Day for the past seventeen years. To say that I get very homesick during the holiday would be putting it mildly, especially considering that everyone is still holding fast to what has become a tradition passed down through the generations.

The good news is that this year my brother started a Memorial Day Weekend tradition of our own. It's only been a few months that I've had extended family located on the east coast near me - I still get giddy when we see each other. And so when my brother, Lon, called and asked if we would like to go to a Washington Nationals baseball game to kick off the weekend, I couldn't have been more excited. This is the first Memorial Day Weekend in seventeen years that I have spent with family. And because I am a sentimental fool, little things like this mean a lot to me.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and so without further ado, I present a pictorial recap of our weekend. We had so much fun, and for the first time in many years, I can honestly say that I am not homesick. I still miss my cousins and the gang, but it doesn't hurt quite as much when I am spending time with my brother who shares the same childhood memories.

Memorial Day Weekend in review:

We rode the metro to the ball field. Alyssa is the metro pro, so she had to help me figure out how to buy tickets for six!

After a metro ride and a mile walk, we finally arrived at the ballpark.

Here we go - it's game time!

Since Debbie and I had the cameras, we had to take pictures of ourselves!

This is the view from our seats - we had GREAT seats!

And finally, a picture my brother and me, along with a picture of Buddy kissing his girlfriend, Sophie - he loves her to excess... but she still ignores him and continues to play hard to get.

 

I still get homesick on the holidays, but I have come to discover that making my own traditions is the best way to move on. It's taken me many years to come to this realization... maybe I was holding on too tightly to the old traditions? But now that Lon and Debbie live on the east coast, things are looking up. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter that it's taken me seventeen years to figure it out - what matters is that I've finally done so and we are now making our own memories and traditions.

Happy Memorial Day to those I love. And to my cousins at the beach: I hope you had a grand time playing in the sand, riding the bikes, eating bbq, and sitting around the campfire. You are in my thoughts this weekend - I love you and miss you.

My new love with Cover Girl products!

I've always said that I like pretty things - I enjoy surrounding myself with color of every hue, and that includes playing with make up, because make up provides an artist's palette of colors that can be blended and applied in a hundred different ways.

Alyssa has always been fascinated by make up, too. Last week, while looking for an old book, I stumbled across a little photo album that held pictures of days long gone. This one was my favorite discovery - it shows Alyssa's first make up application. She was four years old:

These days, Alyssa is much more adept at make up application. I keep asking her to show me how she does her eyes (she is a pro at blending), but she tells me that the technique is not appropriate for a middle age "mom." Harrumph. I don't appreciate being called middle age, but I do get her point, so I just keep muddling through playing with all the things I have - and believe me, I have a lot of make up!

For some women, shoe shopping is a thrill. For others, clothing shopping makes them happy. And for a lot of my friends, it's purses and handbags that make for a good shopping excursion. But for me, it's the make up. Whenever I am feeling down or blue, or even mad or frustrated, I make a beeline for the make up counter. Cosmetics are such a fun thing to shop for since there is no trying on (thus allowing me to continue to ignore those 8 extra pounds), it always fits (size never matter when looking at eyeshadow or lipstick), and make up is fun to play with once I get home.

I've got a drawer filled with the stuff, and I have yet to decide whether that means I am mad all the time, or if I just have a problem with over-buying make up. Either way, this drawer is Alyssa's favorite drawer in the house. She loves to dig though it and try each and every color. I don't often share my cosmetics, but I've been known to give a lot of them to Alyssa, knowing that she is far more skilled with application than I will ever be.

Note that most of the items in this drawer are Estee Lauder or Bobby Brown products... for you see... unknowingly, I have become a make up snob. It wasn't intentional.... it just happened. And I'm pretty sure the reason it happened is because those are the cosmetic counters that have the most visual appeal when I am on one of my make up extravaganzas.

So what does all this have to do with anything? Well, it has THIS to do about THAT - I've recently made two new cosmetic discoveries. These discoveries are so great that I need to share them with anyone who buys cosmetics - because these discoveries are not for snobs. They are for the everyday girl who just wants to pretty herself up a bit. They are for the girl who is on a budget. They are for the girl who buys her make up at Rite Aid and Target and Walmart. These products are inexpensive, but oh-so-wonderful. These products are for everyone!

How did I find out about these Cover Girl wonders?  Not from shopping, but rather from my other addiction that is known as reality television. Specifically, America's Next Top Model. The show is sponsored by Cover Girl, and last week the models made their season finale Cover Girl commercial (they do this with the end of each cycle, so I've seen my share of Cover Girl products on the show). Last year, they promoted Lash Blast Mascara - THE BEST MASCARA I have ever used, bar none. I love Lash Blast and I will never buy another brand - it was the first drug store cosmetic I had purchased in over fifteen years, and I'm here to say that this is not the Cover Girl product we knew from high school. This is high-end, fabulous, equal to the big names cosmetics.

And so it was that last week I saw another new Cover Girl product unveiled. This time it was a lipstain - NOT to be confused with lipstick, because this lipstain is nothing like lip stick. Yesterday, I put the Outlast Lipstain on at noon. I also applied C.O.Bigelow Menta Lip Shine numerous times throughout the day because I have an obsession with the stuff. The Mentha Shine covered the lipstain, but did not lift it or lighten it. At 5:00 last night, my lips were still stained from just one application at noon! Happy, happy, joy, joy! I don't like lipstick all that much because it always seems to feel gooey on my lips - but with the lipstain... it didn't budge.... not on my teeth... not on the tube of Mentha Shine... and not on my coffee cup or soda can. And the best news was that it didn't feel gooey in the least. I couldn't even tell I had it on. This stuff is a miracle.

Really, I'm just a girl doing the things that girls do: I raise my kids, I tend the dogs, I manage the house, I sew when I find time, I read books and watch t.v. as mindless escape.... and all the while, I want to feel pretty, because as my mom always told me, "Pretty is, is pretty does." And my belief is that pretty comes from the inside out - and if we can find something that works on the outside, it really does help us feel prettier on the inside.

Cover Girl... my new favorite cosmetic company!

Alyssa is home from college, and my heart is singing with joy.

Here is what I saw when I walked into Alyssa's dorm room for the last time of her freshman year:

My first thought was, "hey, she makes her bed!" My second thought was, "WOW! She really did like that rag quilt I made her last summer." And my final thought was, "I'm so glad I surprised her with the gift of the teddy bear and pillow case on Valentines Day - I think she liked the gifts." It made me appreciate that no matter how far away from home she is - she still treasures the small touches that I've made a part of her life for so many years. As a mother, this warmed my heart.

And now... tonight she is home. Her freshman year is complete - she survived, she thrived, and she passed her classes -what more can a mother ask for? She did it on her own with her own determination and self reliance, and I am so very proud of her! Can you hear my heart sing? Can you see me smile? Because that is what I am doing - singing and smiling to the point of wanting to break out in song and dance (I'll wait until everyone goes to bed before I start my happy dance... but, believe me... it's on the agenda before this night is through!). But right now, at this moment in time, I am just enjoying having her home. Talk to me in three months, and I may be singing a different tune, but for now, I'm singing songs of celebration and joy.

After she went to bed tonight (*sigh* all is well in my world knowing that she is tucked in snug under my roof), I wrote on our white board for her to see in the morning:

In the grand scheme of things, it may not be much at all. But in the tradition of our home, it is a really big deal to have the entire white board dedicated to a personal message. I just hope she knows how much it means to all of us to have her home, because I, for one, will go to sleep for the first time in months with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

I love her... unconditionally, and with every fiber of my being. I'm so happy to say that this mother-love is one of the never-ending constants in my life. And to be completely honest, I find that comforting... it's always there, it never changes, and it is forever a part of who I am.

I like comfort! And so tonight I sing, "Yay and hooray! She's home!"

Weathering the storm, but there was a break in the clouds.

 

This is the gift John gave me on Mother's Day. It is a poem he wrote a few months ago (thus, the original tear-out sheet from his personal notebook). I cried when I read the words, taped to a card he made just for me, because what he offered was more than a gift... it was a glimmer of hope, and it tells me that he is looking beyond his own problems and that he is aware of the mistakes he's made. And so although we are still weathering the storm, for a moment I saw a break in the clouds.

Dear Mom, I don't know why you cry
so many times, so I ask you why.

When I look into your eyes
it's then I see all those tears fell over me
for your fear of losing me.

Mom, I gotta tell the truth,
my love for you goes through the roof.

But you raised me to be a man.
Against all odds, I can tell you that I am.

A few weeks ago, my mom offered some wise advice: she told me that in spite of the difficulties we are having with John, it is important for me to not let those problems consume my every waking hour - because if I were to do that, I would 1) lose myself and begin to resent my son, and 2) give John power to control my life... both things I do not want to see happen. My mom's advice was accompanied with the gentle walking suggestion (which I listened to loud and clear and implemented immediately).

And so in keeping with the theory, "Mother knows best," I decided that I wanted to surround myself with flowers this summer. Flowers are happy things. Flowers are pretty things. Flowers represent growth and beauty. Flowers are good!

Planting flowers sounds simple enough. But for a girl who doesn't enjoy gardening and who would prefer to read a book rather than dig in the dirt, surrounding myself with flowers has become quite a project. The solution to my "I hate gardening" hang up was to use clay pots and plant flowers that could be placed on my deck... the very place where I read my books! It was a win-win all the way around.

When I told Jeff about my flower project, the first thing he did was go out and buy me two hibiscus trees (or are those bushes? I have no clue... because... well... I don't garden). The only thing I know about hibiscus plants is that hummingbirds love them. And although I don't like birds, I do like hummingbirds because they are so delicate.

 

So far, no hummingbirds. But to entice them, Jeff gave me this for Mother's Day:

After we were set up with the hibiscus plants, we ventured to Home Depot to check out the garden center (a place I am not very familiar with). Here are the flowers we decided to plant - we used clay pots that I had stored under our deck, and we recycled the potting soil that Alyssa used last year.

And finally, because I take everything my mom says as the gospel truth, I thought that biking would be a fun thing to do during the summer months. Yesterday, Jeff gave my bicycle a good scrub and a tune up. Here I am taking it for a quick spin before gearing up for our first ride of the season:

I've got to hand it to my mom - she really does know best! And although we are still weathering the storm, following her advice has allowed me to step away from the storm for a few moments at a time, and that has helped me regroup and find a sense of balance.

When all is said and done, sometimes a break in the clouds is just enough to help see us through life's difficult moments. And flowers... flowers make everything better!