Huh? Seriously. Seriously! Seriously?
Is this an April Fool's Joke? Because if it is, I am NOT laughing. (Okay, I'm laughing a little, but not a whole lot - and certainly not enough to accept this offensive offer.)
This lovely bit of mail arrived with my bills and church newsletter today. Alyssa thought it was hilarious. She made sure to announce to the entire family that "Mom received mail from AARP!" And then she waved it around my head and asked me, "Isn't AARP for old people?"
I am not amused (okay, a little amused, but not much). And for those who have watched even a smidgen of Big Brother this season, I will add that "I am a 46 year old woman. I've given birth to two children. I deserve respect." And while I'm on the subject of respect, since when did 46 years old become an eligible age for AARP? Whose idea was this, anyway? They got me four full years before I hit the big Five-O mark. And even 50 years old is not considered to be a senior citizen. At least, not the last time I checked.
The timing for this invitation could not have been worse. One of the reasons I've been absent from the public eye is because I've been cranky: not just a little cranky, but a whole lot of cranky for a whole lot of weeks. And when I am cranky, even *I* can't stand myself - meaning I did you all a service by keeping my cranky thoughts to myself.
I think the reason I've been cranky is because I'm mad at my body. And I'm pretty sure that my body is to blame for my frame of mind. I'm chalking it up to peri-menopause - that thing that hits before the actual drying up of the womb. Menopause indicates old. Peri-menopause is only the precursor. But it's there... in my face... messing with my moods... messing with my mind... messing with my otherwise healthy body. With this lovely aging process, I've experienced the not-so wonderful addition of chin hair. CHIN HAIR! How absolutely horrifying is that? Who wants to pluck hair from their chin? And to add insult to injury, I can't even see the blasted hair without a magnifying glass because my eyes are not as good as they once were. Toss in some age spots on my face and hands, and more gray hair than I can keep covered with dye... and... well... need I explain why I am mad at my body? It's turning against me. And to be perfectly honest, I despise this. So the fact that AARP decided to pull my name from the database of "almost old" people is rather insulting, taking into account how I've been feeling lately.
My mom loves AARP. She's a proud, card carrying member. She was thrilled the day she turned sixty because it meant all sorts of good things - discounts, benefits, status and respect! And because my mom loves her position as a member of AARP, she's made sure to tell me what a great organization it is. I've always known that someday I would become a member too. But someday isn't today. And someday isn't next year. Heck, someday isn't even this decade! Someday is just that... some day in the distant future - after menopause has dried up my womb and I am officially old and senior-like. I'd like to think that someday is far, far away - sort of like a figment of my imagination.
And so there you have it. AARP has insulted me. They rubbed salt in the wound and offended my senses. I refuse to believe that I am getting old. And in spite of what my body is saying, I remain firm in my belief that age is just a state of mind. My mind is telling me I'm young and vibrant - that I still have many years of song and dance left in me. The way I look at it, my life hasn't reached its peak yet. I'm not even close to peaking. I'm still climbing that mountain and enjoying the journey.
So why, then, is my body defying me? And how, pray tell, does AARP know this?
I received the same piece of mail and thought that someone was playing a joke on me. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one to receive mail from AARP prematurely. :)
Posted by: Jeanette | May 24, 2008 at 11:18 PM
i got one too and i am only 42!!!! are they running out of senior citizens so they are going after the under 50 crowd???? i was tempted - even if just for the laughs (and the discounts). think about it...how cool would it be to whip it out at the movie theater and have the chick say "wow, you don't look that old!" you can say "i was 70 on my last birthday - good clean living!" ha!
Posted by: pc smart | May 16, 2008 at 04:20 PM
OMG, Kelly, that is too funny! I'm only 37 and they sent me one a month ago. My DH got a good laugh out of it and I promptly put it in file 13.
Hugs,
Steph :)
Posted by: Steph #1 Buckeye Fan | April 09, 2008 at 10:58 PM
Oh Kelly, I love you! Your comments made my day. Since I turned the big 40 a few months ago I've been feeling the same way. I even received the big invite from AARP! I was just as offended as you - I couldn't rip it in half fast enough. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Posted by: Steph | April 03, 2008 at 10:43 AM
It's tough getting older. I got to thinking about it the other day. All the people I thought were old growing up have since met thier maker, the the ones I grew to respect are now in thier late 60's and early 70's. The age of the old people when I was young. I am now the age of those in thier 60's were when I was young. It's amazing how life works. Just think how old we look to our kids? You are as young as you feel..Love Randi
Posted by: Randi | April 02, 2008 at 04:17 PM
hee hee hee....don't feel bad, my brother got an invitation to join when he was in middle school. I think that it was a mistake. LOL! You ARE only as old as you feel body be damned! If it makes you feel any better, I feel about 57 today....
Posted by: slammie | April 02, 2008 at 02:33 PM
I can so relate and I am younger than you and I too get mail from AARP-they must get a mailing from all over the country for women in perimenopause!!!!
Posted by: jenny | April 02, 2008 at 02:12 PM
The fun has just begun! I actually went through meopause at age 40....now that is a bummer!
Posted by: Nancy G. | April 02, 2008 at 12:20 PM
I'm right there with you in every way, Kel. And AARP has been mailing me trash since I was 25!
Posted by: Barb | April 02, 2008 at 10:53 AM
I am to f** tired to write what you just did so thank you! I've been going through the same since I was your age (add 9, yuck!) and I still shredd, rip and stomp on the invitiations to join the "good ole boys/girls club!" Talk to me when I'm 60 or maybe 65. Right now, I'll just chalk it up to that nasty M word and the crankiness that comes with it. Look out world!
Posted by: Donna | April 02, 2008 at 09:49 AM
OMG are you living in my body? Wait you can't be because I'm a year older than you and I've been dealing with what you are dealing with for over a year. It sucks.
AARP got me too and I shreaded it with great glee.
HUGS
Posted by: becky | April 01, 2008 at 10:14 PM
I can relate, Kelly! You are not alone!! :) I'm glad you're back. I missed you!
Posted by: Betsy | April 01, 2008 at 07:58 PM
Welcome back. Tell AARP to take a hike...for now :)
Posted by: Denise | April 01, 2008 at 06:57 PM