Tonight my heart is heavy, and it is aching over the senseless loss of life that occurred on the campus of Virginia Tech today. I pray for the families and I pray for the surviving students. I mourn with my state. And I am in shock with our nation. This is Columbine all over again. And even though our nation has come together in grief before, it doesn't make it any easier to do so again. In some ways, it is even more difficult this time because we remember... we remember Columbine. We remember the Amish children in Pennsylvania. We remember when someone takes a gun into a classroom and opens fire on our youth. And the fact that this happened again, makes me sick. And it scares me, because schools are supposed to be safe havens for our children. But the truth of the matter is - schools are not safe. Mass shootings seem to occur in schools more than anywhere else in our nation. And I hate that. I hate knowing that schools are every bit as dangerous for our children as riding in fast cars and doing drugs. When did that happen? How did that happen? Why did that happen?
As the mother of teenagers, I want answers because my teenagers are asking me questions. They turn to me for comfort. They expect me to know why this happened. They want me to be able to provide some sort of explanation that will alleviate their fear. But I can't give them answers, because I don't have answers to something as senseless as murder. I want to know why as much as they want to know why.
And what makes me sad is that this event has opened dialog with my children - dialog that I am not prepared for; questions that I had not previously considered. My teenagers have asked me who to text message for help if this happens when they are at school: do they text me, or do they text the police? And how, exactly, does a person text the police? Does 911 accept text messages? These are valid questions - questions I don't have answers to. Additionally, we discussed how to dive under a desk, and where the safest place in a classroom would be. They asked about jumping out of windows and hiding in closets. They are concerned about living in dorms on campus when they go to college. They want to know if morning classes are more dangerous than afternoon classes. They asked where to hide in a cafeteria and where to hide in a library. They asked questions about what to do if their cell phone doesn't work. They asked who to call if they couldn't reach me. They have asked me hundreds upon hundreds of questions - some of which I have answers for, but most that I don't. And that's sad. It is sad that my kids are forced to think of these things. When I was a teenager, thoughts like this never entered my mind. I lived in my own safe world, doing my own safe thing, without ever a concern about whether or not I would survive. I never thought about guns or shooters. I didn't know what the word terrorism meant. I was oblivious to anything that was frightening or scary because back then, schools were safe, our nation was safe, and we lived in a [false] utopia of security.
Not anymore. And that makes me sad. And so I find myself asking why. That's all... just why?
When I heard about the shootings all I could think about was what if that happened at Clark. Would Kelli be alright? Would she know what to do? It scares me.
Posted by: Randi | April 17, 2007 at 06:46 PM
Kelly, I agree with you about how bad it feels to not have the answers to make kids feel better. Heck, I don't think there are things to say to make anyone feel better right now.
Posted by: tracy whitney | April 17, 2007 at 06:35 PM
It really is FRIGHTENING to think that anywhere you go, someone could do this. Their questions are hard to answer because it's hard to answer them for yourself. Why DOES this happen, why where those students in that place right then? It is sad and terrifying.
Posted by: Amy Sorensen | April 17, 2007 at 04:28 PM
oops... before we hang up
Posted by: Becky H | April 17, 2007 at 09:25 AM
my freshman college student, the one who asked me at the beginning of the school year "do we have to talk EVERY DAY", called home at least 3 times yesterday. today I am scared. could this happen at his school, of course. it can happen anywhere. I will talk to him again today and I`ll make sure he hears me say "I love you" before we hand up.
Posted by: Becky H | April 17, 2007 at 09:23 AM
yup, their lives will never be as "innocent" as ours. P&PT for all those affected....
Posted by: slammie | April 17, 2007 at 08:30 AM
As the parent of a teenager too, I agree with you. It's such a different world now. I don't remember being concerned with "gunmen" at that age. I almost don't want her to go off into the world. It's so unsafe. Plus, being here in the DC area, we have a lot of our area kids that go to VT. It's so awful.
Susan.
Posted by: Susan | April 17, 2007 at 07:45 AM
why indeed. :(
I have had to think about these kinds of things to some degree- especially my years working in a bank. (sigh)
just. so. sad.
Posted by: may | April 16, 2007 at 10:13 PM