When my son was in elementary school, he hated to read - he loved listening to others read out loud, but he despised reading to himself. It wasn't that he couldn't read, but rather that he didn't like to sit still long enough to concentrate on the written word. And so for many years, we compromised when it came to homework. I made a deal with him: I would read a page aloud to him, and then he would read a page aloud to me. This compromise worked very well because not only did it encourage him to actually do his homework, but it also provided me a hands on approach to knowing what it was he was learning in school. And the best thing that came from our compromise was that all through John's elementary school years, he and I had in-depth discussions about books, authors, stories, plots, and character development. For a mom who loves to read, these long ago conversations have become some of my fondest memories of time spent with my son who is growing up all too fast, but who was once a little boy who sat beside me in awe as I read books to him night after night.
It's been five years since John last requested reading assistance while doing his homework. And during these past five years there have been several times when John has brought home a book that I have wanted to read - not aloud, but just to read so that John and I could discuss the content. Most often when I request that he loan me his books, I get the never ending teenage eye-roll. John has long since moved beyond the days that he wants to talk about literature and character development with his mother. And I get that. I'm okay with the fact that John feels competent enough to complete his reading assignments on his own. And I'm fine knowing that he really doesn't care what my opinion of the author or writing style is. It's a sign of maturity and growth. But still, I have to admit that I miss those long gone days when I used to share my passion of reading with my son.
Knowing the evolution of John's approach to reading, I found myself taken by surprise when last week he reached into his backpack and pulled out an old, torn and moldy copy of a book that he thrust it in my face. I looked at it and said, "Yeah, so what am I supposed to do with this?" (You know - in keeping with my cool mom persona and not wanting to overstep my bounds by seeming too eager or over anxious.) John then told me that he wanted me to read the book. He said that it was one of the best books he had ever read and that he wanted to talk about it with me. Well obviously, it was an offer I couldn't refuse. Unfortunately, the timing was such that I was unable to sit down and read the book that very minute. And so I set it aside and promised myself that I would read it the first chance I got.
The next day, John came home from football practice and took note of the dusty, old, moldy book sitting on the kitchen counter. He was insulted that I had not read the book while he was at school. And because he was insulted, he grabbed the book off the counter and stuffed it in his backpack with a grunt of disgust and a sigh of impatience. It took quite a bit of finagling for me to talk my way back into his good graces. Finally, he gave me back the book and made me promise to read it before the week was over. And so it was that I came to read Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck.
This weekend, John and I talked about Of Mice and Men. I was surprised when he recited all sorts of interesting facts about John Steinbeck. I was also surprised when he informed me that Of Mice and Men was on the banned book list. And then he named other books on the banned book list - some of those being books that he has fallen in love with (Harry Potter, by J.K. Rowlings), books that he has read over and over again (The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton), and yes, even books that he has hated (Summer of My German Soldier, by Bette Greene).
Here's the thing - I am against banning books. Period. Banning books goes against everything I believe in: freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of choice, and freedom of the press. My children have been taught that they have free agency, and with this free agency comes the ability to make choices for themselves - choices that they are accountable for and choices that they are expected to make with a fully educated knowledge of what it is they are doing. And that means it is their responsibility to seek the answers. One way to find answers is by reading. How then, if books are banned, is one to form any kind of educated opinion? I'm not condoning the topics or stories of some of the books on the banned book list. But I am saying that these authors have every right to share their opinions and their stories. And in turn, I have a right to form my own opinion based upon what they have presented, as do my children.
As I looked at the banned-book list, I was appalled by some of the titles that were listed. I have read more than half of the one hundred titles on the list. And of those fifty plus books I have read, there is not one that I would not allow my children to read. I would, however, encourage my children to read the books at a time when they have the emotional maturity to understand the content. For example, when I was fifteen years old, I read Go Ask Alice, by Anonymous. At that time in my life, the book rocked me to the very core of my being. It was truly a life altering experience to read Go Ask Alice as an emotional, angst ridden teen. Consequently, because of where I was emotionally at the time I read the book, I made some very clear and conscious decisions that were definitely good choices. And those choices were, in part, based upon the words of the author. Since then, I have read the book at least four more times. And each time I read the book, I gain more insight as to the story and the message. I can't say for sure whether or not my life would be different had I not read Go Ask Alice, but I can say with certainty that my life is richer for having read this book.
I like to think that by reading aloud to John for so many years beyond what was necessary, I was able to pass on to him not only my love for books, but also my respect for the freedoms that books represent. John and I talked about these very things this weekend. And in our discussion, I learned quite a few intimate details about my son and his opinions. By reading Of Mice and Men, John has begun to look beyond his own teenage years. The book opened his eyes to conscious thoughts of empathy and love and caring for others. And this was done by the written words in a book that was penned in 1937. Not by the words of a mother. Not by the words of a teacher. And not by the words of a peer. But by the words of an author who died long ago and whose message and words live on in novels and short stories that are still opening minds and creating great discussions and debates.
Do I agree with banning books? No. I believe that every book is worth something to someone. Everyone does not have to agree with the message of a particular author, but everyone does deserve the right to exercise their free agency in deciding what they will or will not read. Last week, my son reminded me of this message and allowed me the opportunity to share my thoughts with him. And in the end, that is what a good, healthy discussion is all about. And thus, I am thankful for authors like John Steinbeck, Alice Walker, Shel Silverstein, Judy Blume, and all the other brave writers who throw caution to the wind and tell stories with abandon. I applaud them for exercising their freedoms and for providing me the opportunity to do the same.
And so it was that John and I once again sat side-by-side on the sofa and talked about an author and a story and characters and messages. Truly, the written word is a lovely thing. And I, for one, am grateful that I have the freedom to choose exactly what I do, and do not, wish to read.
Kel....
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hugs-Peg
Posted by: Peg Graham | October 04, 2006 at 09:48 AM
What a wonderful post. Really, it brings me to tears on so many levels... ;)
HUGS!
Dana
Posted by: danahollis | October 04, 2006 at 08:56 AM
Kelly, I am so impressed with your son and his relationship with his mother. I can only hope that my daughter and I can have such wonderful communication when she is his age. There is something special about having a book read out loud. One of my college lit professor's believed that was the way books were meant to be enjoyed. I have been blessed with the love of books since an early age. I hope to pass that on. Thank you for a thought provoking entry today.
Posted by: Sudie Alexander | October 03, 2006 at 03:35 PM
Amen Sister!! Banning books just makes me SO angry. I'm a Christian who, of course, doesn't want my children reading filth but for the life of me I cannot understand people who want to impose their book hatred on others. And the books that are often chosen to be banned??!!! Some of the greatest classics of all time!!!!
I know what you mean about the joy you get when a child loves to read. My girls have always loved reading and there is nothing like SHARING the joy of a book with them! Yesterday afternoon in the car, my daughter McKenna (in 9th grade) was reading To Kill a Mockingbird out loud to me. I've read it MANY times over the years and McKenna has read it before too, but yesterday she was reading it out loud to me and we were laughing together, discussing it together. Nothing like that!! (shoot, this feels like a post I need to write on my blog!)
Posted by: cheryl | October 03, 2006 at 09:51 AM
You have done a wonderful job Kelly!!!! And books should NOT be banned!
Posted by: Adrienne | October 03, 2006 at 07:22 AM
You've done good, Kelly.
You've done good.
Book banning is bad.
A teenager who wants to TALK about one of the most amazing pieces of American Literature EVER with his (gasp!) Mom is a GOOD thing.
An opening to a dialogue about much BIGGER issues is AWESOME!!
Bravo! Whatever you've done/are doing...it is WORKING!
Posted by: Kimberly Kwan | October 02, 2006 at 11:54 PM
Very interesting post Kelly--I read the link and became quite engrossed in the side bar...book burnings?? in the 21st century??? and was NOT surprised (though APPALLED) to find out that 90% of the burnings were for religious reasons. I am a Christian, and I can't for the life of me imagine Jesus burning a book. I imagine Him sitting down and having a long, interesting book discussion re: the book with the reader, but not burning. And still today--up until this very minute, the things done in the name of *religion* must break His heart...
Thanks for the food for thought....(SUCH a cool story about your son wanting to *relate* to you through a book...heartwarming!)
Mary Ellen
Posted by: Mary Ellen | October 02, 2006 at 11:11 PM
Wow, girl... just wow. Amazing post.
I'm with you - books should not be banned. I read well over half those books before I was legally of the age to make decisions for myself - and I think I'm a better person for it.
Posted by: Jennifer Lynn | October 02, 2006 at 10:32 PM
Okay took a look at the list and I don't know how I would of went through life with out Judy Blume and To Kill a Mockingbird is my all time favorite and I draw lessons from it to this day.
Banning books is so not cool.
Posted by: Chiara | October 02, 2006 at 08:23 PM
Oh, my all time favorite book! I don't think I've had love for a book the way I did/do with OM&M. Heck, a duet partner and I even used it for a speech tournament a time or 2 (I was Curley's wife, he was a hugh tall guy . .. obviously George).
Banning books . . .not a fan of it. I do, however, have to give my approval on the kids' books. As Ian read HP when he was in the 1st grade, I have to watch that what he reads is not too emotionally ahead of his 10 year old emotions.
Posted by: heather | October 02, 2006 at 04:53 PM
You know how I feel about this topic (banning books). It all comes down, I think, to a degree of emotional intelligence---understanding the difference between a book that is written with the sole purpose of being offensive, or a book that is written with the purpose of educating or making someone think BY the use of something offensive. It's insane to me that there are so many excellent books on the banned book list, and yet garbage like Playboy etc is not. Besides, banning a book is a SURE way to get it read!
Did I tell you about the parent who had a meltdown over O.M.&M. when I was teaching?
Posted by: Amy Sorensen | October 02, 2006 at 04:21 PM
As an avid reader it surprises me that we have a "banned list" at all. I thought we lived in the land of free and the brave?? First it will be banning books; then it will be banning movies and t.v shows; and next thing you know, women can't go out with shorts and short sleeves shirt. See where it will go? To me, banning says that I am not intelligent enough to read or comprehend it. It tells me that "people of power" must make those decisions for me because I don't know better. I never did like anyone telling me what to do--when it doesn't have anything to do with keeping me from killing myself. So, with that, I am off to print off the list of "banned books" and will make it a point to read them, and when my children are old enough, I'll make sure that they read it too. Banning books...hah!
Posted by: abby | October 02, 2006 at 03:53 PM
My youngest (6yo dd) loves the Junie B Jones series. You have reminded me to make a point to start a new one tonight. Even in the simple world of 1st grade books there are some Moms who really slam these books because of how she misbehaves and her grammer is that of a 5-6 year old (which is incorrect most of the time) I love this little girl she reminds me of my little one.
I'm with you NO BANNED BOOKS!
Posted by: Lucinda | October 02, 2006 at 03:44 PM
When you start banning books, you start banning free thought. We have enough of that going around already with every Tom, Dick and Harriet telling us what to believe and what is acceptable and not. I'm with you NO BANNED BOOKS!
P.S.-I agree with Slammie, banning Harry Potter? I understand there are some places that have banned "To Kill and Mockingbird" - can you see the smoke coming out of my ears?
Posted by: Donna M. | October 02, 2006 at 03:14 PM
great topic today. i agree with everything you said. i have not read go ask alice, but it is now on my list of to read. i think i might go find the banned book list and make it a point to read at least half of them(i may have already and if so I will read more on the list). as my kids get older i will make sure they read them too.
Posted by: Meg | October 02, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Yeah, some lady in our county is trying to ban the Harry Potter books, too. Don't get me started!
Posted by: slammie | October 02, 2006 at 11:57 AM